Last night Jordon and I were doing our nightly norm of putting Ethan to bed. I sit and feed him in the rocking chair in his room while daddy usually reads some scriptures and then we have family prayer together. It’s usually by this time that Ethan drifts off to sleep. 
Jordon and I were discussing some thoughts about the future and we spoke of how it amazes us how much we deeply love Ethan and how easily worry, fear, and concern all come wrapped up with this package of parenthood. Jordon spoke of some experiences on his mission when he was teaching people about God’s love for us. He would ask them how much they love their children, and people would say they loved them more than anything and of course wanted the very best for their children. Then he would relate this to how Heavenly Father feels about us as his children. Then he spoke of prayer and gave an analogy that I thought was pretty cool. He said “imagine if you had a child who was in another country and wrote you letters weekly. You were so excited to get those letters each week. You got the first letter and enjoyed reading it and hearing about what your child was doing. Then the next week you got another letter, but it was the very same one! Then the next week, yet another letter that was the same.” He then would relate this to how we should not be repetitive in our prayers to our Father. I liked that analogy.
It truly amazes me every day how much I love Ethan and how much I absolutely love being a mother. I just look at him and my heart feels as if it may just burst with love. I know I’m still so new at being a mother and have a long road ahead of me, but I live each day to see even just one little smile from his beautiful face. Just one smile makes my entire day (though he's always willing to give me many more smiles than just one each day). Call me sappy and pathetic, but I miss him when he sleeps at night. Don’t get me wrong, I truly love my sleep at night. But even though I roll out of bed half asleep and exhausted, I love to see him when he’s awake and hungry in the middle of the night and I have the opportunity to feed him and rock him back to sleep. Those quiet moments in the middle of the night are most precious to me and ones I will always remember as a mother.
Jordon and I were discussing some thoughts about the future and we spoke of how it amazes us how much we deeply love Ethan and how easily worry, fear, and concern all come wrapped up with this package of parenthood. Jordon spoke of some experiences on his mission when he was teaching people about God’s love for us. He would ask them how much they love their children, and people would say they loved them more than anything and of course wanted the very best for their children. Then he would relate this to how Heavenly Father feels about us as his children. Then he spoke of prayer and gave an analogy that I thought was pretty cool. He said “imagine if you had a child who was in another country and wrote you letters weekly. You were so excited to get those letters each week. You got the first letter and enjoyed reading it and hearing about what your child was doing. Then the next week you got another letter, but it was the very same one! Then the next week, yet another letter that was the same.” He then would relate this to how we should not be repetitive in our prayers to our Father. I liked that analogy.
It truly amazes me every day how much I love Ethan and how much I absolutely love being a mother. I just look at him and my heart feels as if it may just burst with love. I know I’m still so new at being a mother and have a long road ahead of me, but I live each day to see even just one little smile from his beautiful face. Just one smile makes my entire day (though he's always willing to give me many more smiles than just one each day). Call me sappy and pathetic, but I miss him when he sleeps at night. Don’t get me wrong, I truly love my sleep at night. But even though I roll out of bed half asleep and exhausted, I love to see him when he’s awake and hungry in the middle of the night and I have the opportunity to feed him and rock him back to sleep. Those quiet moments in the middle of the night are most precious to me and ones I will always remember as a mother. 
6 comments:
I know what you mean about missing him. I still miss James when I put him down to sleep at night. I do love that he takes good naps and sleep good at night but there's this part of me that wishes I could just have him next to me. I don't go to bed with out taking a peek at him to make sure he's alright and has a blanket over him. I try to put into words all of the time how much I love James but I never seem to explain it right. There just aren't words for the joy he gives me and the love I have for him. Anyway, I'm glad you are doing good. I will talk to you soon.
you are a magnificent woman and i love you.
I thought the same about you when we danced all night!! You are doing great mom. he is so adorable. Love you. Mom
I agree that there are no words to capture the feeling. Lately Isaac has become really cuddly. He wasn't for a long time and I really missed that. But now he comes up and wraps his arms as far as they'l go, pat my back and lay his head between my neck and my shoulder. And I just want to hold him FOREVER like that! Wellcome to the miracle of motherhood. Having your heart permantly outside of your body.
Isn't being a mom a blast! Sometimes I feel bad that Dad's don't get to experience all the wonderful things that come with lucking out and being a mom! Pregnancy, nursing, EVERYTHING!
Hello La..La.. (this is what Amanda Dance used to call Liana when they were three years old. Wow, what a beautiful baby boy and a wonderful and devoted mother and such a kind and helpful dad. You make up such a wonderful family whom I love and admire. I love you Liana, I love you Jordan and I love you angel baby Ethan! Love, Sister Julie Dance serving in Alaska!
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